i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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