I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.