i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
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He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.