ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize