Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
A+ Viking dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.