I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
