He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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