Texts From Last Night

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  (361): View more from Texas

  ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Shotgun.

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  (361): ISS teacher has a tramp stamp. (1-361): Shotgun. http://tfl.nu/53a6
  Replies (57) Good night (4500) Bad night (853)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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  (231): A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people. http://tfl.nu/k0xd
  Replies (110) Good night (9601) Bad night (2365)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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  (973): He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass' (973): Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic. (229): Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom? http://tfl.nu/xp9a
  Replies (9) Good night (4187) Bad night (1084)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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  (202): I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand http://tfl.nu/1ole
  Replies (8) Good night (4331) Bad night (1122)
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  (+33): View more from France

  I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.

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  (+33): I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again. http://tfl.nu/fepp
  Replies (15) Good night (2181) Bad night (773)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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  (+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e
  Replies (10) Good night (2441) Bad night (818)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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  (937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr
  Replies (16) Good night (1024) Bad night (1652)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.

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  (317): Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced. http://tfl.nu/5tm9
  Replies (5) Good night (483) Bad night (1008)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.

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  (313): Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye. http://tfl.nu/jiz3
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (481)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (434)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him

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  (617): We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him http://tfl.nu/mgdf
  Replies (8) Good night (780) Bad night (612)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...

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  (412): rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea... http://tfl.nu/7e3n
  Replies (1) Good night (415) Bad night (541)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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  (202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i
  Replies (9) Good night (440) Bad night (1455)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.

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  (773): There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church. http://tfl.nu/aslp
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (305)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.

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  (201): Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina. http://tfl.nu/3zwg
  Replies (1) Good night (168) Bad night (438)

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