i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
