i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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