Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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