put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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