don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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