Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
