i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
