I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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