He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
