you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
