capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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