I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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