NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
