i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
