Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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