Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
