Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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