He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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