i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
