So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
