yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
