i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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