you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
