as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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