Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
splinters make it hard to masturbate
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
