So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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