When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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