Your mouth is God's brothel.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
