Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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