Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
