why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize