I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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