you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
