remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
operation have a gay friend backfired
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
