Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
