get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
