Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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