Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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