so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
