So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
