Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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