Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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