does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
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Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
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I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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