the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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