oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
