Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
time to smoke my breakfast
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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