I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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