Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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