I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
