chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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