So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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