Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
