I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
