Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
