It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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