Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.

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  (518): Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/f3k6
  Replies (14) Good night (2627) Bad night (557)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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  (816): I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up http://tfl.nu/d7fo
  Replies (25) Good night (731) Bad night (5495)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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  (308): It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail. http://tfl.nu/m40v
  Replies (18) Good night (952) Bad night (4644)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!

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  (502): Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night! http://tfl.nu/a9zw
  Replies (8) Good night (615) Bad night (2607)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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  (908): he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me. http://tfl.nu/x367
  Replies (16) Good night (4629) Bad night (3564)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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  (404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp
  Replies (12) Good night (4625) Bad night (1396)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  remember, YOU ARE A WINNER

  (410): View more from Maryland

  my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.

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  (520): remember, YOU ARE A WINNER (410): my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice. http://tfl.nu/siqr
  Replies (11) Good night (1340) Bad night (3099)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!

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  (518): Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!! http://tfl.nu/blny
  Replies (8) Good night (3462) Bad night (1024)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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  (845): Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?" http://tfl.nu/78br
  Replies (12) Good night (574) Bad night (1969)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

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  (704): Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention. http://tfl.nu/qqdz
  Replies (17) Good night (1664) Bad night (542)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.

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  (505): He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable. http://tfl.nu/iadb
  Replies (4) Good night (233) Bad night (592)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.

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  (307): I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/qeom
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (265)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...

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  (484): I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata... http://tfl.nu/0hr1
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (258)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.

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  (636): Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you. http://tfl.nu/ltvz
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you win?

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  (803): My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game." (1-803): Did you win? http://tfl.nu/8s69
  Replies (10) Good night (2087) Bad night (255)

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