I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center