I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
