Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

I met the friendliest cop last night

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(281): View more from Texas

So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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(315): View more from New York

She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

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(785): View more from Kansas

totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?

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(845): View more from New York

Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me

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