I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?