Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

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  (949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me. http://tfl.nu/kgtm
  Replies (19) Good night (672) Bad night (2288)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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  (386): I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife http://tfl.nu/xcgm
  Replies (37) Good night (4021) Bad night (1475)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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  (402): my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen. http://tfl.nu/06g9
  Replies (2) Good night (4131) Bad night (1280)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...

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  (615): But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume... http://tfl.nu/x6iy
  Replies (5) Good night (4567) Bad night (880)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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  (504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9
  Replies (15) Good night (2758) Bad night (1165)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

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  (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/57eb
  Replies (50) Good night (2486) Bad night (5548)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (3101) Bad night (977)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.

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  (217): There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle. http://tfl.nu/aejf
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (1303)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1786) Bad night (624)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha

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  (402): I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha http://tfl.nu/npx2
  Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (505)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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  (248): THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK http://tfl.nu/8so3
  Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (598)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.

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  (405): Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center. http://tfl.nu/aec1
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left

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  (503): I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left http://tfl.nu/li77
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.

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  (714): I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented. http://tfl.nu/mdds
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...

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  (512): I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute... http://tfl.nu/0ksf
  Replies (0) Good night (1022) Bad night (388)

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