remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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