I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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