Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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