come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
