lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
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he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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