I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize