I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
