remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
