This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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