So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
