I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
