i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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