i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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